I'm sorry. You tried to warn me and I refused to listen. He told me you were jealous and my genitals convinced me to believe him even though you always seemed like an awesome woman. Out from under his influence I can appreciate all you tried to do. I even feel guilty for not warning his current partner, but I know she wouldn't listen to me anyway.
All the evidence was on your side, then later on my side, but he was so charming he made me disbelieve my senses including my common sense. Far too charming.
Everyone told me he stole the Whitby tickets money, not just you. Even when I knew he was banned from the festival because of it I allowed myself to believe it was false accusations. He booked us a cottage in Whitby, not during the festival weekend of course, and for some bullshit reason I had to drive up alone and he'd follow. I was so gullible. When I eventually found the cottage and lay in bed alone and you phoned me telling me he was with you, I let him convince me otherwise. As you know he arrived the next day with presents. Your clothes, stolen from your wardrobe, that I returned to you humiliated, but even then I stayed with him. Were you this stupid once upon a time, or was I special like that?
You know he stole from me too, at least twice. The first time I had my beautiful death planned and prepared, but called my father to save me. His sister hated that I called the police, but they couldn't do anything in a domestic theft case anyway. He convinced me to give him a second chance, but my friends weren't as gullible and I hate to say I lied to them all for a year, claiming I was dating someone else.
There were good times. It's hard not to have fun with someone so charming. But he stole my instincts away and made me think I was crazy. Every truth I confronted him with became my paranoia. I wanted to die again, but now there were kids. I couldn't leave them with him, now I knew how bad he was.
Maybe it's enough that I left him in the end. Is it? I hope your life is much better now. Mine is. I found someone who doesn't lie to me. It might be a low bar but it means a lot that I'm allowed to trust my own instincts at last. Thank you for trying. Sorry I failed you.
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