Things I said in 2018 (in reverse order).
You know those people who say random and silly things that others perceive as clever and witty? Yeah I’m one of those.
So when I said I was going to listen to The Pixies and do the washing up I didn't mean fairy folk were criticising my housework.
Me - I'll have a long lie in this Christmas morning Also me - It's 4.30am can I wake my kid and open presents yet?
The front door wouldn't lock and I thought it wasn't a problem to fight with it while holding a spoon in my mouth. I was wrong.
Either it's the menopause or I'm fulfilling my lifelong ambition and becoming a cat, because I'm growing whiskers.
Ever noticed how you can request something multiple times, but even as an adult, it requires your father's intervention to get people to listen?
Let's get to a point in society where we don't care how a person identifies or who they desire unless we personally want to get inside their pants.
The Twin Peaks finale made me want to scream too, Laura.
I've been watching Girl Boss with my daughter on Netflix. Sophia is like Jessica Jones but with a crippling fear of bridges and no super powers.
My heart fluttered big time today when I thought Neil Gaiman had arrived at my work place. It wasn't him. It was a German tourist who is apparently a much less famous writer, so I poured him a generous taster of a fine local malt and chatted with him for a while.
Gen - "I love your smile, but I love how ghoulish you are even more." Yes, we have reached that stage of our romance.
Today, life feels like an extremely itchy sweater.
Well that was a stressful cat mummy moment. Live bird (relatively unhurt I hope) brought into the house. Shut the cats out of the room and opened the window so bird could escape when it had calmed down. The cats are looking at me as if I cancelled Christmas.
On the way home last night ... Trish - I love your hair longer. You like like a teenager. Me - That'll be the acne.
I always thought the quote "That'll do, Pig. That'll do," came from Disco Pigs. But they were quoting Babe. Doh!
I used to "David Lynch Remix" all Dad's 45s as a teen when I played them at 33rpm and made them sound like Fields of the Nephilim.
Twin Peaks, every bit as much of a mind-fuck as the first two seasons. It's like watching TV made by aliens.
Maybe if I watched TV and read tabloid newspapers I could understand the electorate's mentality better, but it seems too big a price to pay.
2 days in a row now the cats have brought me dead rodents. And I didn't get them any presents at all. Ungrateful cat mummy.
Hardly slept at all last night. In retrospect perhaps espresso ice cream just before bed was a mistake.
Fascism appeals to the working man by telling him he is better than women, immigrants and people of colour, communism by telling him he is equal to his bosses.
2,300 words into the first draft of this zombie short story. It's getting kinda political. Hope the editor doesn't mind a bit of class war with their zombies.
Professional anarchist? You mean we get paid? Where do I sign up?
It was so windy last night that I half expected to wake up in Oz.
How many liberals does in take to change a light bulb? None, they'll wait until someone else changes it for them.
When you feel like complaining about how shitty 2016 was, just remember, we were all supposed to die in 2012.
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